Kids Anecdotes

According to Chuck Willis

I Love Kids!

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old shout from the back seat, “Mom! That lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!”

~~oOo~~

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he’d dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, “We better throw this one out too then, ’cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.”

~~oOo~~

On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, “The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.”

~~oOo~~

A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year old daughter to answer the phone.

“It’s the minister, Mommy,” the child said to her mother. Then she added, “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”

~~oOo~~

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, “What’s the matter –haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?”

~~oOo~~

A little boy was digging for fishing bait in the garden with his father. He uncovered a creature with many legs and proudly held it up for his father to see.

“No, son, he won’t work for bait,” his father said. “He’s not an earthworm.”

“He’s not?” the little boy said, his eyes wide. “What planet is he from?”

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